How long has language been around? For 50,000 years, language has aided human intellectual evolution and social advancements. Now the emergence of social media puts idea sharing, information exchange and our collective progress into hyper drive.

For generations, information and ideas have been shared through theater, schools and media. Books, newspapers, magazines, radio and TV sped the distribution and reach of language to the masses. The advent of the Internet hurled language onto an information super highway. With social media fully embedded in the mainstream, humans are now able to instantaneously tap into, and influence, the ideological pulse of the planet. So is this a good thing?

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Between scouring the Internet for bad content and stunt doubling for Optimus Prime, I don’t get much time to chat with the ladies in real time, so what’s a web marketing superhero to do?  Megan Fox isn’t taking my calls, so it’s time to try online dating.  What can I write in my dating profile so I can be sure to maximize my ROI?

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I am a copywriter, and along with my fellow copywriters, I write copy intended to communicate the benefits of certain products and services to people who will potentially use them. My logo is not a little ‘c’ with a circle around it, and my job has nothing to do with legal rights associated with creative works.

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If English weren’t an evolving language, we’d still be satisfying our retail needs at ‘Ye Olde Shoppes’ and referring to our less intelligent peers as ‘unpregnant’.  Many factors contribute to the evolution of language, including geography, culture, and technology — but what determines the changes that are deemed acceptable enough for purists to relent?

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I’ve witnessed some horrific abuses of grammar and punctuation over the years and it’s about time someone stood up for these poor little words and symbols that can’t stand up for themselves. With that, I give you the first installment in my campaign to end grammar and punctuation abuse.

I’m officially declaring it’s Apostrophe Awareness Month! Never has a tiny dot with a tail endured so much misuse.  With your help, we can make a difference in apostrophe abuse by recognizing some of the worst offenders.

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Greetings, good Internet people! I’m Opticon’s sidekick, The Deleter. I specialize in exterminating spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors with a vengeance!

I wasn’t the most popular guy in school, but rest assured all those years spent studying proper language use instead of frivolous things like ‘sports’ and ‘dating’ have really paid off! Now, I’m an esteemed Internet superhero who helps well-meaning folks like you break bad language habits so you can confidently deliver your message to the masses without error or embarrassment.

Over my years of scouring the Internet for traces of technical violations I’ve noticed that some similar sounding words confuse many of you, and I’m here to get rid of this confusion once and for all.

Here’s my list of commonly confused words and their proper, and improper, uses.

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There’s a prolific villain on the loose that must be stopped.  It’s a complex shape shifter and not easy to track to the untrained eye.  The villain, my good people of the Internet, is bad web copy, and it’s infecting the Web, leaving traces on websites, blogs, social networks — everywhere! Your website may have already been infected, and the damage immeasurable.

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Group brainstorming is inefficient and smothers creativity, suggests a recent study conducted at Texas A&M University. This might come as a shock to copywriters, designers, developers, and other creative types, who long for and religiously take part in caffeine-powered idea-generating sessions.

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With more than 350 million copies of his stories sold, it’s hard to deny that Stephen King knows the secret to writing that sells.  In his book, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, he discusses the beginnings of his career, his ups and downs, and his advice to other writers hoping to make a living by selling their work.

Even though King’s writes fiction, his tips easily apply to copywriting, since they encourage being clear and concise with your storytelling techniques. When you write copy, you’re also telling a story – the story of how the business you’re writing about can solve the problems of its potential customers.

Here are some of King’s main pieces of advice for writers that especially apply to good copywriting.

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